New General Manager Brings on Old Friend

With the announcement that Jack Kozicz will become the new General Manager of the Boston Celtics, fans are expressing some mixed emotions.

‘He has no experience’ is the cry most often shouted by the dissenters, but Managing Partner, Governor, and CEO of the Celtics, Wycliffe Grousbeck, said that he has full confidence in Kozicz.

“We understand he is a relative no-name,” Grousbeck responds, “but he has been working his way up our ranks for a while and we believe in him and his vision for our team.”

Now what is this vision? Well Kozicz has taken a page from the book of Elon Musk and announced that he has a ‘Secret Master Plan’ for the Celtics.

“I know I’m new, never played the game, and don’t have the full confidence of the fan base behind me,” Kozicz said in his first press conference, “but my mentor and friend defined the auto industry with his Secret Master Plan, and I hope to do the same with mine. Yep that’s right. Here in Boston we will be doing things a little differently in order to bring back winning ways to Boston. I will not share the full details of how we plan to accomplish our goal, but I will tell you that the Celtics will be competing for a title within five years.”

Well, no one can say Tesla hasn’t done well since the release of the first plan. It will be interesting to see what moves, if any, Kozicz will make over the next few seasons.


UPDATE: Those of you who thought we wouldn’t have to wait long to see the new GM of the Celtics make any trades were right. This just in:

The Boston Celtics ship Jae Crowder and Avery Bradley to the Los Angeles Clippers for Paul Pierce and J.J. Reddick.

Bringing back one of the original ‘Big Three’ has been seen as a great move. Fans are excited to break out their old jerseys. Hopefully, Pierce can bring back the successes of the mid 2000’s. Reddick, on the other hand, is new to Boston and is sure to provide an excellent shooting option in the second squad.

Crowder and Bradley are future NBA starters, but, clearly, Kozicz doesn’t think they are ready for a starting role right now. Getting veteran leadership, who can rotate between the first and second units is an integral part of any playoff team.

Does this mean the Celtics are throwing away the rebuild plans? Or is this just a way to save face while tanking?



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